My One Word for 2013

Those of you who know me know I love words!  I like writing, I take notes, I doodle words!  I gravitate towards wall plaques and interior decorating that uses words.  Ok, I think you get the idea!

I also have big aspirations and make optimistic New Year resolutions.  Falling right in with statistics, I make too many and am unrealistic in what I think I can accomplish and... they don't last very long.  *sigh*  Who doesn't do that though?  Even my daily to-do lists and goals are set so high they are almost impossible to complete in 24 hours, let alone the few hours after work.

So when Ben and I listened to a podcast interviewing two authors who together wrote the book, One Word that will Change Your Life, I was instantly intrigued.  The magical word - if I could just buy the book so I knew what it was - there would be hope for such a failure at New Year's resolutions as me!  (Isn't that how they make you think though?)  Actually, it's not quite how I thought; not a one-word-fixes-all situation.  Because *spoiler warning inserted here* the 'one word' is different for all of us.

You can listen to 'Casting the Vision with Dan Briton and Jimmy Page' by following that link (you will have to look for the one titled 'Casting the Vision...' as I couldn't link directly to it only).

This is the idea of a one-word year:

It's not setting to do goals, but rather to be goals; it's not what you want to accomplish, it's who you want to become in one year.  Discovering that word that's meant for you that cuts through all the clutter and chaos and creates simplicity, power and focus. 

It's not simply picking a word. ... As you... listen to God... it's a process of surrender, receiving the word God has for you that year and then living it out. 

We're looking for a God-word, not a good word. 

1. Look in - Prepare your heart (unplug, de-clutter, introspective time thinking about what God may have for you to learn)
2. Look up - Discover your word (it may not be the word you want; it is the word God wants for you!)
3. Look out - Live your word (share your word, tell others, and work on becoming who God wants you to be)

A couple other good quotes from the podcast:

Don't try to do everything.  In the pursuit of trying to do everything, you don't do anything as well as you would like.   

Leadership is about character, not as much about what you accomplish.

An interesting thing to note is that often busyness stands in the way of hearing from God (because we don't take the time to think and listen) and living out who He actually wants us to be because we're just so busy... doing.  Our culture sees busyness as a badge of honor, even to the point of (subconsciously?) bragging about our schedules when we meet our friends in the grocery store, trying to outdo each other with the number of things we are busy with.  "...but I am just so BUSY!"  One word cuts down on some of the busyness (trying to keep up with New Year resolutions, anyone?), is easy to remember and helps narrow our focus down to one theme for the year, and as God works in us to refine our character, it will affect every area of our life.

Success.  Inspire.  Dreams.  Graceful.  Purpose.  Balance. Opportunity. 

These are all words I would have wanted.  As we listened through the podcast, of course my mind started racing, trying to pick a word for my year.  Until they got to the part about how God chooses it for you.  My initial reaction was, How do I figure that out?!  Because I'd like to know NOW!  Then it all started to come together.

I already have my word!  Not a word of my choosing, but I know with certainty that it is God's word for me for this year.  In fact, I already wrote about it at the beginning of the year, here, when it was on my mind a ton.  Funny, how I'd almost forgotten about it until recent, when that theme presented itself again.

My word is 

Peace.

Right now [with the circumstances of a post-poned trip] God is allowing me to experience indescribable peace.  I have a very hard time accepting a change in plans.  I have expectations.  I need to be notified way in advance so I have time to 'mentally prepare myself' as I call it.  And did I mention, I hate having to be flexible.  If all isn't quite on track, I stress.

I had plans.  I had expectations.  I was not notified in time to prepare myself for the sudden change.  

I could be angry.  I could be bitter.  Certainly I am disappointed.  I could hold these feelings of resentment towards God, or even harbor bitterness towards our baby - it's their fault I feel this way, right?  In circumstances out of my control, my attitude is always my choice!  The Bible warns us to watch out for a root of bitterness and commands us to put these feelings of anger and bitterness away because they do not produce the righteousness of God.  Interesting that anger, bitterness and resentment stem from unmet expectations.  Bitterness only hurts those holding it in their hearts.  It will eat away your joy and harden your heart.  With God's help, and seeing others' examples, I am learning to choose cheerfulness.

I choose life.  I choose joy.  I choose to see my circumstances as a gift, because through it God is letting me experience peace like I never have before.  Kind of cool, how this podcast and idea of one word is helping make sense of what I saw before as a negative situation.    

What word is God trying to give to you?  I choose to accept my word for 2013.  Will you accept yours?

[You can order the book here.]

Travel Postponed

We have been waiting for this day for longer than we waited for our wedding day.  Like, two years - since we got married.  And a whole year before that while we were dating... three years really, that we have been hoping, dreaming, planning, saving $$ for and looking forward to this day.  Our 7-week trip was all planned out, starting off with a visit to the ship Logos Hope which is currently sailing in Asia, but more importantly to see Hong Kong where I grew up and visit my family where they live now, in mainland China.  "The trip of a decade!" we tease, since it's really not an affordable vacation to do often!  I have been SO EXCITED to take Ben back to my childhood roots and get to experience the culture of my previous home(s) together!!!

Then it crashed.  Not our plane.  Because... we weren't actually on one yet.  The dream.  Our China trip dream that was so close to happening we could almost smell the jet fuel and feel the humid tropical air.  But instead of leaving the Sanford Women's Clinic with the letter I requested - you know, the one that reassures airlines and the like that I am 18 weeks along, pregnancy is going well and I am perfectly fit to travel - I carry home a letter with the dreaded words, "She has a complication of pregnancy that was discovered today that makes it inadvisable to travel."

Inadvisable to travel.

Wow!  The whole picture can change so fast!  This isn't even the roller-coaster ride we've been on already that I was referring to at the end of my last post.  The 'complication' is that I am at risk for preterm labor due to a short cervix.  Hopefully this is just how my body is and I will go full term and then in the future it should not be a cause for concern.  However, since it is my first pregnancy (the very first was a miscarriage, so second actually) it is an unknown with no previous good pregnancies to fall back on, and all the signs point to at risk for preterm labor.  One of the things that has been proven to cause significantly more contractions (a bad thing if you have a short cervix) is travel, especially prolonged/overseas travel, thus heightening the risk that my body would go into labor way too early.  Aside from this is the fact that China (or the middle of the ocean on Logos Hope) does not have as good of medical care available as here - for me more so, were something to happen, because it would be too early for the baby to survive either place.

Thirteen hours before our plane left, and we had to make one of the hardest decisions ever so far.  Neither Ben nor I felt comfortable putting our little boy at unnecessary risk for our selfish reasons.  So we made the difficult choice to call off our trip at this time and are doing all in our power to help this pregnancy go full term.  Like our CNM said, "It won't be the last time your children will cause a change in your plans!"  We are trusting God that He will take care of our little one and that our trip will happen in His time!  

We don't know what God is doing or trying to teach us.  I don't know why He gives and takes away and gives again... only to take away again.  This was not how I wanted pregnancy to be.  I am enjoying this second trimester high energy and I was hoping to be highly active throughout and the kind of mom who's 8.5 months pregnant and out hoeing the garden and doing hard work without it phasing her one bit!  Why did the first one have to be a miscarriage?  Why is the second one this way?  Never did I imagine I would be the mother begging God that baby stays in the womb just one more day... and one more.  Why oh why can't I have a normal pregnancy??!

Having to postpone our trip is a LOT of disappointment for us.  We were SO looking forward to this trip and seeing my family and... everything!  Obviously we didn't make the decision lightly.  If something were to happen, I don't know if I could live with myself, without blaming myself or thinking maybe it's our fault because we heightened our risk by traveling.  Since there ARE things we can do to lessen the risk we are taking the recommendations of my very common sense midwife and certified nurse midwife.  In addition to not traveling, I am not supposed to lift much and not do (very much) exercise and lower my activity level and some other things.  Being a very active person this is pretty hard for me. :/  If seven weeks from now baby has not come (hopefully!) then I'm sure we'll play the second guessing yourself game and wonder if we would have been alright even if traveling.  But then again that might have been too much and may have caused a different outcome.  So we may never know.

One thing we do know; as devastated as we are, God has given us an indescribable peace about staying!  (After knowing what we know, we did not have a peace about going, even though that is what I wanted.)  Surprisingly we even had a good day today!

We are taking a few days away to process things and take these big changes one day at a time.  All we can do is trust God and hold our dreams in an open hand.

THE GOOD NEWS is that our sweet little baby is a BOY and he's growing strong and healthy and perfectly on track.  He's 7oz. now and moving around A LOT even though I haven't felt it yet! :)  18 weeks along today!  Praise God that we had an appointment BEFORE leaving (this almost didn't happen).

Here are some milestones you can pray with us for our little boy to meet (hopefully all still safely in the womb!):

According to what my CNM said...

24 weeks - about the earliest babies can survive with the highest technology in the States

28 weeks - 100% of premie babies survive, with less than 10% having long-term issues 

36 weeks - baby can survive without NICU (some at 34 weeks)

40 weeks - full term

Praise the Lord that Delta Airlines refunded our biggest flight tickets 100%, and Ben is working hard communicating with the others.  We would appreciate your prayers that we would be able to get money back from the other two flights as well!  Our China visas last a year, so it's possible we could go after our little guy is born!

Proverbs 16:9  The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.


Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

The Trip

Long story made short (trust me, this is going somewhere!  Actually, literally!  WE are GOING somewhere!!!  But I must not get ahead of myself...)

I spent 17 years of my childhood (and teen-hood) overseas.
In Hong Kong and mainland China to be exact.
My family is still there.
Different culture/currency/language/holidays/you-name-it.
All things mentioned above formed who I am today.

That's it in a nutshell.  Though Ben has heard some stories, and yes, he's met my family, he hasn't experienced Asia; hasn't SEEN where I grew up.  Something must be done to remedy this!

SO WE ARE TAKING A TRIP!  Now this is not just a little "oh, let's take a quick little trip!" trip.  Oh, no!  We have been saving $$ for it for almost two years (it didn't take that long, though trip savings was in addition to our regular save-for-a-house and retirement savings).  A year ago we put some dates on the calendar for this spring so we would have some end goal/projected dates of travel.  Those dates are coming up and... we are actually going!  I say that with some surprise because you see, it's been a roller coaster of a ride not knowing exactly when we would be going!

When my grandparents went in the late fall of 2012, we looked up quick and briefly threw around the crazy idea of going with, but it was too short-notice and too busy a time for us - it was just not feasible. So we were thinking this winter/spring.  But then Sam (Ben's boss, also happens to be his dad :)) had rotator cuff surgery on his right shoulder.  With one guy out of four (the most well-trained and the leader at that) out of commission, we didn't feel right about leaving as long as Ben was needed to be his right-hand man.  So we would maybe postpone our trip to the fall?  We weren't really sure.  However, still enduring pretty severe daily (and nightly) pain, Sam is pushing through and bounced back faster than we thought in a lot of ways.  He's driving, taking phone calls, handling the business and doing service calls like normal, except for not lifting things (and all the above things with one hand).  It will make it tougher for the business, no doubt, but mom and dad are the type to seize remarkable opportunities and encourage their kids to do the same.  So they are encouraging us to go! :)

Of course my parents are overjoyed and we are super excited to see them!!!!

We will be leaving in March and coming home in April!  More stories of our already adventurous roller-coaster-emotions of a trip coming soon!!!

Come Home

A young guy, who's family is part of our church, passed away early this morning.  He didn't "lose the battle" to cancer.  Death didn't have the final word.  Oh no.  LIFE won - because he knew Jesus, he's won the race, 100% healed and has Eternal Life with our Lord! 

Come Home

Naomi S. Sahlstrom

I surrender,

Said the man

Not to cancer’s cruel hand;

To God’s mysterious plan

Too soon, too young, some will say

What about his dreams?

Days are numbered, time is out

Too early though it seems

For just one moment –

Death thought he had the victory

Nothing now could save…

Until his soul went UP

Not down into the grave!

Death defeated, no rejoicing

Out again to roam

Not so in heaven –

God’s child just came home!

Party, laughter, banquet feasting!

It’s all right, dear son’s mother

His mission is complete

Well he served and will continue

At his Master’s feet

Let us be, faithful servants

When death happens to us all

Our last duty here on earth:

To heed the Master’s call

Come home.

Peace

Did anyone else sing along with the song "Grown-Up Christmas Wish"?  As we grow older, more of us wish with that song - we'd like relationships to be fixed, everything to be all better, and no more wars.  The gift we'd really like for Christmas is Peace on earth.

Peace.

Wow, I could really use some of that as we head into the new year.  Life seems uncertain.  Obama is [still] president, taxes on the rise, school shootings, healthcare mandates, freedoms being taken away, unrest in the middle east...

You know what?  I GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!  You can have it too - but it's not a gift you'll find wrapped under your tree.  Actually it was given about 2,000 years ago on the first CHRISTmas ever.  Think about it again, what the angels told the shepherds.

"...Peace on earth!" Luke 2:14

He came!  He embodied peace.  He was Peace.  Actually, the prince of Peace, so God (the Father) must be Peace.  And he sent his son, Peace incarnate, to earth - Peace truly was on earth.

"And he will be called: ... Prince of Peace."  Isaiah 9:6

Remember the Christmas prophesy from Micah?  "But you Bethlehem... though you are small... out of you will come a ruler..." and if you keep reading a couple verses down it says,

"And He will be their peace."  Micah 5:5

My happy thought that we might actually have Peace on earth was followed by an, "Oh no!  Peace WAS on earth, but Jesus went back into heaven!"  But then I thought of the verse that says,

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you."  John 14:27

I like how the NLT version phrases it too, 

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

"For Christ himself has brought peace to us. ... He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups.  Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross... He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near.  Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us." Eph. 3:14-17

You know when God says something to you really clear?  It doesn't happen (at least to me) often, but everywhere you turn, it's blaring loud, staring you in the face?  Like my verse God gave me for the new year:

"And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.  For as members of one body you are called to live in peace.  And always be thankful."  Colossians 3:15

I can tend to stress, worry even, about little or big things.  Things like missing so much work because of being sick. :P  So this is the verse that I am hanging onto and trying to obey.  If we have the Holy Spirit in us, we have Christ's Peace ("my Peace I leave with you..."), and that Peace should be ruling in my heart! :)

Here's my Christmas and New Year's wish to you:

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation." 

2 Thess. 3:16