Moving Soon!

Moving soon - WordPress here we come?!

Ok, so before I get on about the move, I have to tell you about this awesome photo editor/collage maker that I found for FREE!  With it I made the cool vintage pin-able text-on-photo picture above.  {Yes, that's me... a lot of years ago!}   www.picmonkey.com is the website.  Photos are perfect for Pinterest!  Now that my happy rant is over...

YES!  We're moving soon!  Nothing new in my life {so far}, though this time I'm not having to pack any suitcases or boxes.  I'm a little apprehensive and a bit scared, so I decided I'd blog about it to get it out there and face my fear!  Mostly, it's because it's a one-way move - can't go back - AND it costs $$. Which of course makes me have to think about it for forever before making a final decision.  Where are we going?  Actually, I'm just sitting here on my couch, but I am debating {well, probably 90% decided} about moving my blog to a WordPress.org site.  What does that mean for you?  No worries!  Bear with me in the upcoming renovation stages as it changes looks and colors and hopefully in a couple months it will have a fresh new face and be a whole lot more user-friendly for you, the reader!  So, just sit back and chill while I excitedly figure out how to make this move happen!

Criteria for Credibility

cred-i-bil-i-ty  |ˌkredəˈbilitē|

noun

the quality of being trusted and believed in

the quality of being convincing or believable

the quality or power of inspiring belief

The Question

How much is enough to be able to speak into someone’s life?  Basically, what is required for me to be 'credible' in the information I give (spoken or written)?  I am using 'speak into someone's life' to mean give advice to help them, counsel/mentor, encourage or challenge a position they hold, give a different perspective to make them think about something, answer a question, debate a topic and even just in the general conversations of my everyday life. 

Levels of Influence

Talking to a friend is different from 

being a major public figure as a speaker;

personal notes/email is different than a personal blog,

which is different than a popular blog with thousands of readers,

which is different from someone who writes for a national newspaper or a New York Times bestselling author. 

I realize there are different levels of this.  I am referring to starting out with a small circle of influence (family members, friends over the years, up to several hundred FB friends or blog readers), but I think the question is still true for even famous people.  Also, what one has to say may not be applicable or the right timing to everyone so you don’t know whom it may reach (speak to).

What makes me (or anyone) credible?

Because you have a PASSION about something?

Does being POPULAR or having many FANS & FOLLOWERS give credibility?

Are IDEAS, OPINIONS, and CONVICTIONS enough?

AGE?

How about TRAINING/EDUCATION/KNOWLEDGE on the subject?

Or do you need to have PERSONAL EXPERIENCE?

Should you be an EXPERT on the topic?

Let's break these down a little:

1.     PASSION

Someone who cares about their topic makes it much more interesting than someone who has no interest in what they’re trying to present and often this makes them come across as more credible.  How much passion is enough?

2.     POPULARITY/ FANS & FOLLOWERS  

Just because you’re Justin Beiber, Rob Bell or Oprah doesn’t mean that they really have authority to give information on the topic even though many will blindly follow… and if they give their opinion, how do we know they are not just doing it for the $$?   Sadly, movie stars and others don’t even need to have passion or personal conviction/opinion for whatever it is; just being paid enough to do the [advertisement] is enough to lead the world towards... something.  It would be cool to have that much influence (not sure it's the best way though).  How popular do I need to be?

3.     IDEAS, OPINIONS, and CONVICTIONS

These are formed from our worldview and may be on every aspect of life.  This is what most people’s talk of politics consists of (unless they have had personal experience in [position] or have had much education on the topic.  How do we judge who's ideas count or who does not have the right to their own opinion?  Isn’t everything we say/write one of these three – an idea, our opinion, or a conviction we hold?  If this is not enough, who are we to open our mouths?  

4.     AGE

A command from the Bible is “Older [women] teach the younger [women]”… does that mean you have to be “old” or just oldER than the other person?  What about the verse “do not let anyone look down on you because you are young…”?  As long as you can set an example does age not matter?  If this is the criteria, then we are saying it is better to just sit around and wait for time to pass so you get old rather than doing your best to work hard, gather information, learn, and be a smart young person who can share their knowledge with others.  (Oh wait, I can only speak into someone's life if I'm old so scratch that last part.)  How long do I have to wait?

5.     TRAINING/EDUCATION/KNOWLEDGE

How much?  A one-day class?  A four-year degree?  A doctorate, a PhD?  I can KNOW the dangers of smoking and caution others against it without having tried it – no personal experience – myself; also I can have a conviction about it in my personal life that will influence my opinions and what I tell people.   With google we now all think we can have more knowledge, while often the majority of information out there is just other people’s opinions… people just like us who may or may not be more educated than us.  Well, I never went to college, yet anyway, so am I screwed?  Again I ask, how much knowledge is enough?

6.     PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

Can you have one child and give advice on parenting?  One one-night stand to tell teens not to do it or do you need to have had multiple sexual partners?  Would you have had to have home schooled – as in taught - all 12 grades before you could talk on it, or is having been home schooled enough to give ideas and advice?  Yes, we learn from others’ mistakes, but could we also learn from someone who has been strong/made wise choices the entire time?  If they haven't tried both sides, then is their experience really good enough?  How much experience is enough?

7.     EXPERT

What constitutes an “expert”?  There’s always more one could learn or experience.  How do I know when I have become an expert?

We all have the tendency to judge if someone has the credibility to be speaking/writing on a topic. 

What if their wisdom is not from them, and God has given them His words to say? (like Jer. 1:6-9)  Can it be helpful to some people?  Can God use it?  Even if they are young and seemingly uneducated?

An ‘easy answer’ is “if God tells you to say/do that… then all these things (above) do not matter it just matters that you’re doing what God has called you to” (lays it on their heart, burdened for it, whatever term you want to use).  How do we know if it is really God or just our wants and desires?  What if people don’t believe us? If there are moral absolutes and we know them, then we can repeat what [God] says with authority, though the danger is if someone is interpreting it wrong or twisting what is said.  What if the influential people leading are misled (false prophets, Rob Bell, etc.)?  What if they/I are deceived themselves/myself in how they/I interpret things or if they/I have seared their/my conscience and think they/I are/am still doing right?  

Let's say I am actually wrong, but I think I am right.  Ok, so hopefully others will point it out and correct me, but what if 50% agree and 50% disagree?  What if 90% agree, so it seems that majority would be right, but actually the smaller group, the narrow way is what is really true and right and good?  

How about if I am right but others don't see it.  Could people you really respect have made a mistake or have been wrong (after all, no one is perfect)?  If I am unsure if I am right or wrong and looking for guidance, if I take their advice then I will think I am wrong when really I was right...  Is anyone else confused yet?

Obviously we have to take everything we hear, see and read and compare it… to a standard.  Some sort of standard that probably cannot be exactly identical to any other person's because it exists in our mind.  Then it boils down to whose advice or counsel we will take, from a Christian perspective, as most Biblical, and usually the people we think of are the ones that have the most credibility or authority on the topic in our minds.  Whatever that means to us; which above criteria we prioritize and value.  Which leads us back in a circle and brings me to my hypothesis.  (Maybe this is not new, but I have not read or heard anything on the topic so this is my original idea.)

Hypothesis on Credibility

Credibility is subjective

Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  My credibility actually has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with if YOU think I have authority to speak/write on topic xyz.

Because credibility is only perceived.  Credibility is defined by the receiver of the information.  It is us making a judgement on if the information-giver meets our criteria for what we decide is enough authority for them to be mentoring/leading/teaching/rebuking us.  (Sometimes, it is based upon whether we like them or agree with them.)  There it is again.  That word enough.

You tell me how much is enough to be able to speak into someone's life.  I've already tried and maybe you didn't even make it to reading this far because you already deemed me as not credible enough.  You are the receiver, so you are the judge.  If you made it this far, I still hope you take everything I say understanding it's my opinion and ideas which are formed from my values and beliefs.  I do my best to make sure there are many good reasons to trust what I say/write aside from you liking me - like if it is Biblical, if it is backed by medical or scientific research, or if a lot of other people you trust as credible agree and are saying similar things - and I hope you make an informed decision (probably using some of the criteria above).  If it's an idea, hey why not try it and decide whether it works for you or not.  If it's just a piece of writing, enjoy it for what it is and laugh.  By all means question everything you say, hear or read.  But try to do so with an open mind, willing to let go of some preconceived, possibly even long-held, ideas.  Like not taking young people seriously because surely they have nothing knowledgable to say because they don't have enough life experience/education/years lived/etc.  Some of them might surprise you!  Life is a lot more pleasant when you focus on the beauty.  Those who don't are known as cynics.      

Letting Go

Spring being a time of graduations, its probably something you think of then.  Not 18 years before.  But yes, I MUST face it, I must start thinking about it.  I must start preparing myself for the hardest thing a mother has to do. From birth to graduation, something she has to do little by little 365 days a year of her child's life.

Letting go.

Now is the time, the only time and for the last time, that I will hold our little one this tight and this close.  I will savor it while I can.  Birth starts the process of letting go.  We won't 'be one' anymore; he won't be in me.  He will come out and be his own individual, separate from me with his own thoughts, ideas and dreams.  Leaving the womb he starts his journey of leaving me.  Developmental milestones are steps towards independence; all working towards one day pushing him out of the nest.  School age comes and though you may think that with home school you get to hold them a little longer, that is really not true.  You must let them explore and discover and be free to make (small) mistakes and bad decisions.  They must learn that actions have consequences because you will not always be there to guide and protect, and that is how the real world works.  As they get older they will have ideas, and in a safe environment, you must let them follow their child-dreams, knowing that this sets the precedent for who you believe they can become later in life.  You must be their cheerleader, their biggest fan, though you know that each victory is a step away from you.  And then the teen years.  Some freedom and some rules, allowing them the responsibility (though painful sometimes) for many of their own decisions now.  If they do not find their wings gradually, it will be a hard fall when they shoot out of the nest.  It is paramount that they develop their own convictions and identity as an individual, preventing them from being as easily swayed by those around them later in life.  Pray that the worldview you have instilled in them since birth will give them their own solid foundation, even as the gap between them and the family widens.  And then the cap and the tassel and the tears.  The tears?  But you knew this day was coming.  Will they be tears of pride and joy or of guilt and regret?  You must prepare them well, mother.  Prepare them for leaving you.

That is why it is the present tense.  Letting go.  It is a conscious act, a choice of attitude, every single day.  From the first toddling baby step to walking down the aisle, every step is one more step to leaving you.  And the job is never done; the letting go never accomplished and filed in the past tense.  Because it is an act of the will, this releasing control, to see them as adults and respect that they are their own people.  Counsel, comfort and friendship yes, but you hold them no longer in your arms.

Dear mother, cherish each moment you have your child close for these few fleeting years!  Hold them with an open hand for God did not give them to you to keep.  Birth starts the process of letting go (sometimes God asks us to let go of them even before birth), but smile through your tears, new mama - once a mother, a mom forever - you will always hold your child in your heart!

“Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”                  
― Kaleel Jamison

Pregnancy Update

You know how when you're sitting in the doctor's consultation room and the doctor comes in and asks, "How are you doing?" both of you know it's only said as a polite greeting because the moment you saw their face you knew.  But you start talking anyway saying what a good week it was and that you're feeling great and you've been so optimistic and you feel almost healed focusing on all the positives not letting yourself think anything else is possible and surely it's been the best weeks by far and you're doing great really you are and if you can just keep talking maybe she won't have room to fit a word in so she can't tell you what you don't want to hear.  As if the facts unspoken make them somehow unreal.  A coping mechanism of denial, probably.  Eventually you've run out of things to say, as you can only repeat I'm feeling great so many times and you feebly end with, and the sunshine was lovely.

Ignorance is bliss but it is immature to purposely keep oneself uninformed so as to live a carefree life.

She tries to smile, a bit of a pained attempt, as if unsure of where to stick the needle for she knows anywhere she starts will still burst my happy bubble.  And it's just fact and nothing we did wrong and hardest of all, nothing more we can do about it.  Minimize stairs, is her gentle endeavor at letting us have at least something to "do better".  And she got out the little tape measure to help us all drive the point home and make it more real in our minds.  40mm is what is good... 8-9mm is a far cry from that.  The question in my mind; what happens when it shortens to... zero?!  But from here on out there is no need to measure anymore.  She will just check to see if I am in labor.  I must count contractions.  Be MORE aware.  No one else but me can tell if something is different, I alone am solely responsible to make that call.  Sometimes it seems the weight of this responsibility is too much.

We visited the NICU.  Our reality short of a miracle.  I realized just how good a job I have done at positive thinking and imagining my beautiful home birth at full-term (including me jumping on the trampoline on my due date if baby hasn't come yet!) that I have almost blocked out of my mind mentally preparing myself for the other possibility.  The nurse put it well when she said that one of the things NICU parents deal with is grieving the perfect birth story they were picturing.  I need to come back to my realist self at least enough to be ready so it won't be such a shock if it does happen.  (I still believe in the power of positive thinking and will continue, no worries, I just must also be prepared.)  And I can't help thinking What if God's will isn't my will?  Surely a pregnancy with complications and many sacrifices, early birth, and NICU stay wouldn't be His plan for us... or might it?  We saw a baby the exact (gestational) age as ours - except he was out and ours is in.  Strange to think of it that way, and amazing and beautiful.  I didn't think of it till later, but, if we have our baby in the next couple of months... they'll be buddies in the NICU! :)

I had a pity party for one day, bemoaning the things I was hoping to go to this weekend - the Tornado Spotter class, and the annual city wide garage sales shopping for baby stuff with a friend that we had been planning for so long, and church.  I feel like I am in an invisible prison, built of my own self-restraint, but somehow inescapable nonetheless.  It was an emotional day and not a good day to talk to me about moving a fridge and a little burner upstairs so I could effectively live my life on all of one story.  I need space.  I need air so I don't suffocate.  Spring is coming and I want to go outside.  Even though it is of my own choosing, for baby's good, it is still hard.  And then I kicked myself and got over my selfishness and started doing things for others.

And now I am back to doing well (sanity-wise)!  My dear dear friend went garage sailing FOR me and picked out a whole long list of baby clothes that I absolutely cannot wait to see, and a baby bouncer that I am equally excited about!!!!  And there is a baby shower for me tomorrow and about a gazillion people were invited and I am just so excited because I love socializing!!!  And then I feel little buddy-boy's kicks and know he's ok, and I'm ok, and we're telling him to stay in there (at least until after the baby shower - I MUST make it to my own baby shower!!! ;)) and 26 weeks is good and 28 is even better.  And I am blessed.

My One Word for 2013

Those of you who know me know I love words!  I like writing, I take notes, I doodle words!  I gravitate towards wall plaques and interior decorating that uses words.  Ok, I think you get the idea!

I also have big aspirations and make optimistic New Year resolutions.  Falling right in with statistics, I make too many and am unrealistic in what I think I can accomplish and... they don't last very long.  *sigh*  Who doesn't do that though?  Even my daily to-do lists and goals are set so high they are almost impossible to complete in 24 hours, let alone the few hours after work.

So when Ben and I listened to a podcast interviewing two authors who together wrote the book, One Word that will Change Your Life, I was instantly intrigued.  The magical word - if I could just buy the book so I knew what it was - there would be hope for such a failure at New Year's resolutions as me!  (Isn't that how they make you think though?)  Actually, it's not quite how I thought; not a one-word-fixes-all situation.  Because *spoiler warning inserted here* the 'one word' is different for all of us.

You can listen to 'Casting the Vision with Dan Briton and Jimmy Page' by following that link (you will have to look for the one titled 'Casting the Vision...' as I couldn't link directly to it only).

This is the idea of a one-word year:

It's not setting to do goals, but rather to be goals; it's not what you want to accomplish, it's who you want to become in one year.  Discovering that word that's meant for you that cuts through all the clutter and chaos and creates simplicity, power and focus. 

It's not simply picking a word. ... As you... listen to God... it's a process of surrender, receiving the word God has for you that year and then living it out. 

We're looking for a God-word, not a good word. 

1. Look in - Prepare your heart (unplug, de-clutter, introspective time thinking about what God may have for you to learn)
2. Look up - Discover your word (it may not be the word you want; it is the word God wants for you!)
3. Look out - Live your word (share your word, tell others, and work on becoming who God wants you to be)

A couple other good quotes from the podcast:

Don't try to do everything.  In the pursuit of trying to do everything, you don't do anything as well as you would like.   

Leadership is about character, not as much about what you accomplish.

An interesting thing to note is that often busyness stands in the way of hearing from God (because we don't take the time to think and listen) and living out who He actually wants us to be because we're just so busy... doing.  Our culture sees busyness as a badge of honor, even to the point of (subconsciously?) bragging about our schedules when we meet our friends in the grocery store, trying to outdo each other with the number of things we are busy with.  "...but I am just so BUSY!"  One word cuts down on some of the busyness (trying to keep up with New Year resolutions, anyone?), is easy to remember and helps narrow our focus down to one theme for the year, and as God works in us to refine our character, it will affect every area of our life.

Success.  Inspire.  Dreams.  Graceful.  Purpose.  Balance. Opportunity. 

These are all words I would have wanted.  As we listened through the podcast, of course my mind started racing, trying to pick a word for my year.  Until they got to the part about how God chooses it for you.  My initial reaction was, How do I figure that out?!  Because I'd like to know NOW!  Then it all started to come together.

I already have my word!  Not a word of my choosing, but I know with certainty that it is God's word for me for this year.  In fact, I already wrote about it at the beginning of the year, here, when it was on my mind a ton.  Funny, how I'd almost forgotten about it until recent, when that theme presented itself again.

My word is 

Peace.

Right now [with the circumstances of a post-poned trip] God is allowing me to experience indescribable peace.  I have a very hard time accepting a change in plans.  I have expectations.  I need to be notified way in advance so I have time to 'mentally prepare myself' as I call it.  And did I mention, I hate having to be flexible.  If all isn't quite on track, I stress.

I had plans.  I had expectations.  I was not notified in time to prepare myself for the sudden change.  

I could be angry.  I could be bitter.  Certainly I am disappointed.  I could hold these feelings of resentment towards God, or even harbor bitterness towards our baby - it's their fault I feel this way, right?  In circumstances out of my control, my attitude is always my choice!  The Bible warns us to watch out for a root of bitterness and commands us to put these feelings of anger and bitterness away because they do not produce the righteousness of God.  Interesting that anger, bitterness and resentment stem from unmet expectations.  Bitterness only hurts those holding it in their hearts.  It will eat away your joy and harden your heart.  With God's help, and seeing others' examples, I am learning to choose cheerfulness.

I choose life.  I choose joy.  I choose to see my circumstances as a gift, because through it God is letting me experience peace like I never have before.  Kind of cool, how this podcast and idea of one word is helping make sense of what I saw before as a negative situation.    

What word is God trying to give to you?  I choose to accept my word for 2013.  Will you accept yours?

[You can order the book here.]

Come Home

A young guy, who's family is part of our church, passed away early this morning.  He didn't "lose the battle" to cancer.  Death didn't have the final word.  Oh no.  LIFE won - because he knew Jesus, he's won the race, 100% healed and has Eternal Life with our Lord! 

Come Home

Naomi S. Sahlstrom

I surrender,

Said the man

Not to cancer’s cruel hand;

To God’s mysterious plan

Too soon, too young, some will say

What about his dreams?

Days are numbered, time is out

Too early though it seems

For just one moment –

Death thought he had the victory

Nothing now could save…

Until his soul went UP

Not down into the grave!

Death defeated, no rejoicing

Out again to roam

Not so in heaven –

God’s child just came home!

Party, laughter, banquet feasting!

It’s all right, dear son’s mother

His mission is complete

Well he served and will continue

At his Master’s feet

Let us be, faithful servants

When death happens to us all

Our last duty here on earth:

To heed the Master’s call

Come home.

Christmas Letter 2012

Well, hopefully for those of you in the US of A, you already received our Christmas card/letter!  For all our friends overseas, we're sure you won't quite get it before Christmas (*ahem* that may or may not be because we still have them... :P), so here's our Christmas end-of-the-year update!

Merry Christmas!

         We have been married almost two years now - we can hardly believe it!  Time flies and we can honestly say we enjoy every minute and are so thankful for life together!  (Our favorite night of the week is date night! J)

Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge. - Proverbs 23:12 ESV

         This year has been a time of seeking for us.  Understanding how to prioritize and balance ministry, work and family isn’t an easy thing to do.  Marriage requires a lot of work, but the rewards of a great relationship far outweigh the time and effort spent!  Prioritizing a set amount of time each day to be spent in prayer (together as a couple) has been a great new habit.  Reading has been a big part of 2012, and thanks to EntreLeadership, we developed personal mission statements that helped to push us to a more purpose driven life.  Another book that we learned a lot from was Boundaries, about relating with people and how to say yes to the truly important things.  We love to ask questions and listen to the advice of Godly role models we would like to emulate.  Our ‘Christmas wish’ this year, and every year, is that we are doing what God wants us to with our lives, our time and our careers.

     Naomi   became a certified emergency medical First Responder and though our rural area does not get many calls, she appreciates the first aid knowledge gained and sense of responsibility, and loves serving her community.  She also learned how to drive a manual car. J  After an additional summer job as cashier at Walmart, Naomi switched from that and serving pizzas, to investing in children’s lives at Walnut Grove Elementary school!   She is a paraprofessional (teacher’s assistant) in preschool, working with 30 three, four and five year olds every day!

         We love living close to Ben’s family and often are a part of the action and excitement that’s happening over on their hobby farm (including a new baby sister, Alaina Blessing)!  Towards the beginning of the year, Ben had time to work on the house we hope to someday live in and buy, but for now we are still across the road in Purves’ rental.  We are so blessed to have such wonderful neighbors!  We became members of Tracy Alliance Church and also teach Sunday school for 1^st-6^th grade.  The past few months Naomi headed up Operation Christmas Child at our church, and the grand finale was taking a group to the Minneapolis processing center where we shipped the boxes off to bless children in Uganda!  We are saving up $$ and planning a big trip to visit Naomi’s family in China, Lord willing sometime in 2013!

     Ben  continues to work for Sahlstrom’s Heating and in September became a Journeyman plumber.  He not only passed the difficult test, he did so with such a high score the proctor personally called him to congratulate him!  Being a Journeyman is one year away from his Master Plumber license. Those of you who knew the big-spender Ben would hardly recognize the wise, frugal saver he is now!  Listening to The Dave Ramsey Show has sparked a growing interest in finance.  We are seeking God for life direction and long-term career plans for Ben and our family in the future.

         One of our biggest highlights this year was learning a lot of practical things about wise money management according to the Bible through Dave Ramsey’s 9-week course, Financial Peace University!  Since the class wasn’t offered in our area, we became class coordinators so we could host it.  The first time we went through it as a small group with several other young couples, and then this fall hosted it at our church with 40+ people from the church and community attending! God has given us a desire to help people in this area of life, and we are passionate about continuing to live as an example and offering hope to others!

May the Joy  and Peace  brought through Christ’s coming fill you with Hope  for the New Year!

Ben & Naomi

City Girl turned Country

For all my readers around the world who thought life in China and life on the ship to be so exciting... here's proof that I can make ANYTHING exciting!  You will now be reading about cleaning out the cow barn...  :D

It was deep, 1.5 feet approximately.  I looked at that gooey mess and wondered how it would be possible to not get stuck in it!  

I was attempting to muck out the barn.  (A phrase that Ben didn't even know!  One up for the city girl! :))  I only recently learned to drive the little skid loader and I figured this would be a great project to hopefully get my hands/feet/levers/foot pedals coordination down!

  

No worries!  Ben assured me that if I got stuck, all I had to do was use the bucket/tines to push my front end up and then shove the skid backwards and just like that I would be unstuck!  He explained the general rules and we sent the big Holstein ol' Bessies outside (this was the open doorway I was piling all the you-can-imagine-what-was-on-the-floor-of-the-barn stuff right outside - so unfortunately there wasn't anything except the fear of the skid that was keeping the cows outside).

If you've ever been in a skid loader before you'll know how a steep little hill makes it feel like you're going to tip over.  (And I had to drive up it and through to the other end of the barn where I was dumping everything.)  The thought that came into my mind which was somewhat a consolation was, This deep in manure... it'll be a soft landing!  Well I made it up the first bit and then had to go back and forth dumping bits of hay-and-dry-manure-clumps into my tracks to keep the tires from spinning out since I was having a hard time making forward progress.  Finally I made it almost through the worst of it when I got STUCK - in the middle of the barn.  No worries, right?  I tried every technique I could think of and even Ben's no-fail method was to no avail.  Finally, frustration and determination found me climbing over the top of the skid loader trying to figure out a way to get out without getting my boots too filthy (forget that) and without being attacked by the roosters.

Oh yes, the roosters.  

There is something you must know about the Sahlstrom Family Farm.  There are currently these roosters.  Not just any roosters, these are MEAN cocks with a sickly crow.  Scrawny as, they live to fight like Roman gladiators; the worst ones pecked half-featherless - ugh!  I am not sure how they are still alive actually, because no one likes them, but they are too tough to eat and too entertaining to get rid of!  Being chased by one of them is a nightmare for a little kid - Simeon once clambered up on top of the grill and was banging on the window in a desperate attempt to evade one (as the crazed thing jumped and squawked around his hanging feet).  In my mind making little kids scared = it should not be around.  I even mentioned I should walk out there with an ax and in the event of an attack I would swing it round and round yelling, "Off with his head!"  Johann, the 2-year-old, must have heard this (whoops!) because today at lunch he was chopping imaginary rooster heads as he declared, "I not scared!  I have big sword and I KILL THEM!!!"  The worst part about these roosters is they go about their own business like they didn't even notice you and wait to attack until you have turned your back!  The instant you're not looking, they lunge at you!

Well I made it out past the roosters (whew!) to my phone to call Ben and my wonderful husband eventually got the skid unstuck all the while shaking his head because I would be the one to be able to get it stuck on my first time, in the first 20 minutes no less!  I got some area cleared uneventfully.  

And then the cows.

I drank a glass of milk right before I started so I would remember why I was doing this.  Unfortunately,   even my huge love for milk did not lend me very much patience when those lumbering beasts decided it was time to come back in.  Through the huge pile of manure that I was piling right outside the door.  Into the barn and slipping and sliding around on the slick, now mostly-cleared, cement floor.  I don't know if it was too hot outside or if it was the flies or if they just wanted to be difficult, but I wasn't intimidating enough - hardly.  Just enough so that they ran around in circles on the slippery barn floor like they were possessed and I was pretty sure one of them was going to fall and break a leg.

It wasn't so much that I minded the extra work and time of shutting off the skid loader and getting out to chase down the cows, as much as it was that I did not, for any reason, want to leave my protective metal cage, making myself vulnerable to those horrid fowl.

So there I was, little me, in the middle of the barn, standing with pitch fork in hand as my only defense between two ornery-looking cows (who did NOT want to go outside) about to barrel me over to get to the grain, and the angry roosters threatening me with the one-eyed look and just daring me to try to get past them out my only exit on the other side!  The cows were much bigger, but honestly, I was more scared of the roosters... until the cow started moving around her hind quarters to face me and I remembered that she kicks!  In a split second I had already envisioned myself getting hoofed in the stomach and the wind knocked out of me, laying flat on my back in six inches of manure, unable to move or call for help or in any way fend off the roosters descending like vultures to peck away at my almost dead carcass.  Maybe I poked her a little harder with the pitch fork after that thought and magically, the cows went out and the roosters decided to not forge their attack.

Five hours later, the barn was clean.  I was happy ...to be alive!

New Design!

Welcome to my blog!  This is where I document my life, write and keep family and friends around the world updated!

As you'll notice I have a new, clean, simple design now... with options for how YOU like to view it!  Click near the top left where it says "Classic" for many different layout styles - my personal favorites are "Classic" and "Magazine"!  If you hover with your mouse over on the right, more bars will pop out where you can still read "About Me" section and subscribe to my blog!

Thanks for visiting, come back soon!  Oh, and try something new today!

~Naomi

A Special Day

Today is a special day!  Today is a birthday - the actual would-have-been birth day - of our first child!  It was my due date.  Funny how I don't remember off the top of my head which day I had the miscarriage, but this day, May 3rd, is forever seared in my memory.

I hope the angels have a party for you, Baby.  Sunshine and colorful balloons and fluffy cotton-candy clouds!  Oh, how I miss to see what your face looks like!  

And oh the irony - cruel, cruel irony.  Instead of having a baby in my arms, I am practicing a flip on the trampoline, still a child myself.  Life is very different than it would have been.

Out of six pregnancies that I knew of - my own mom and my mother-in-law included - 5 out of 6 of the babies died (including vanishing twin syndrome and a stillbirth).  With my first pregnancy experience ending in miscarriage, and being surrounded by all these others, it is hard to believe that we can have a 'normal' healthy pregnancy and baby someday.  So I want to introduce to you, on this special day, the baby who brought hope... the ONE baby who lived!!!

Lilly Claire  born March 4, 2012 :)

She is special to me in a deeper way because she signifies LIFE and HOPE and JOY!  And she gives me COURAGE, that maybe next time the outcome will be different; that someday we can have a baby!  (And we will get to meet little Lilly in June!  Yay!!!  Our friends live in far away WI. :P)

Later pictures will be coming of the bulbs we planted that are blooming this week!

Wasted strawberries, Wasted life?

Why don't I ever learn??!  Strawberries in the fridge do NOT last for a week.  It does not matter if you are waiting for the perfect pancake breakfast to have them with; they do not wait, they mold.  Yes, white fuzzy mold, and sour - horribly sour (rotten)!  But they are a whole $1.98 too special to eat right away!  Well... saving them for a special occasion doesn't make them any sweeter!  *sigh*  Reminds me of my childhood when I would save my Christmas stocking candy canes for entirely too long.  Like, 364 days - until next December long.  Then I would realize that fresh ones really taste better!  Hmmm... what is it with me and saving red food-stuffs??? ;)

God talks about it in the Bible too, with the parable of the talents.  Burying a hole and keeping it was not a good thing to do with it.  It needed to be used, invested and bringing in a greater return!  Or like the rich man who had so much stuff he needed to build bigger barns - just to store more stuff!  He was stingy and wasn't giving any of it away or using it for good purposes himself.  God fixed that.  The rich man died and all his belongings were given to be enjoyed by the poor!
I'm not really sure what lesson I'm supposed to learn from this, because I know that for some things it is good to save (like money for emergency fund, car, college, house, etc.).  Taken to some extent and with a grain of salt, of course, what God has given us here on this earth we need to ENJOY and invest it for the Kingdom because it won't last forever!

I listened to this great sermon today... What talents have I been gifted with that are sitting around and not being used?  I missed having really yummy strawberries!  What's worse yet is that I feel so bad for wasting almost $2 on food gone bad... How can I live to make sure I don't waste my LIFE.  Jesus says that he who tries to save his life will lose it (goes for strawberries and candy canes too) but those who give up their lives and follow Him will not be ashamed of how they have 'spent' their life when Jesus comes back again!  [Matt. 16:24-28, Mk 8:34-38, Luke 9:23-27]

Behold, the lesson of the strawberries... DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE!

10 Reasons I love Warm Weather

Top 10 list of why I love warm* weather:

*'Warm' being defined as temperatures at or above 65 degrees F and not exceeding 80 degrees F, with no more than 60% humidity, and a breeze 



1.  Open up the windows and let that lovely breeze in!!!


2.  It is the perfect sleeping weather with the windows open (see reason above)!  Just ask my hubby; I can sleep a LONG time in these good conditions!


3.  It is not freezing when you get out of bed.


4.  The toilet seat is not cold.


5.  Sunshine is a great anti-depressant and helps me be in a great mood!  If it rains, as in more tropical parts of the world, it is warm enough to splash in the puddles and run in the soaking rain!  See?  Warm weather is always happy!  :D


6.  There are almost exactly 12 hours of daylight, which is perfect in my book!


7.  The dishwater stays hot for longer.  (Which reminds me, I should get back to that soon! ;))


8.  With short sleeves and less layers than in winter, you feel so light and free!  And if you still want or have to wear long pants, it is not unbearably uncomfortable.


9.  It is warm enough to wear my favorite footwear - barefoot or flip-flops, the closest you can get to natural!


10.  The outdoors just CALLS in this temperature weather!  The birds are back and are singing (and I'm pretty sure all the other kinds of animals are "twitter-pated" :P)  I could just LIVE outdoors!


...but unfortunately I can't.  Dishes, laundry, laying plywood pre-flooring, and a host of other things all require me to be inside.  And I better get back to it now!  See #7 for what I was doing, before this warm weather made my thoughts run faster and the words flow better and I just HAD to come write!  Such a glorious day begs to be appreciated by those enjoying it!

P.S.  For St. Patrick's Day, I will have you know that our grass along our ditches is the greenest around!

Millionaire

If I could make money from my ideas, I would be a millionaire.  It would work if I could just find someone who needs them!  Or, as my loving and supportive husband says, if I someday had a good enough idea!

I'm always brainstorming, always the entrepreneur, trying to advance up, invent something, change the world!  Ok, that last one went a little far (little bit TOO optimistic there, Naomi!), so moving on... to my next idea!  

It's not even about the money, though unfortunately most of my ideas require some!  I have a passion for children, for learning, for teaching, for seeing wives and mothers live out their Godly calling.  I just need to wrap it all up in a self-supporting (doesn't necessarily have to make money, just has to support itself) practical lifestyle that I could start NOW!  Patience, as is probably typical (though still not justified), is not a top trait of an entrepreneur.   

In the second-half of the chapter we read from Dave Ramsey's book EntreLeadership, he introduces the word "Mompreneur" (moms who are entrepreneurs, working from home or a variety of other ideas and the like) which is my coolest new word of the day and set me on fire all over again!

Poor Ben, he is so patient with me as I jump from one inspiration to the next!  It is a roller-coaster of an adventure - the ride of a lifetime! (who wouldn't want to come along, anyway?!) - that starts with one idea that leads to the next to the next to the next... "What about the house!!!?????"  he cries, as we go flying off.  (Our long-term taking-a-long-time-project that needs to be completed.)

"Don't worry, it'll still be sitting here when we come back around someday!"  (Envision something like Santa's sleigh flying back to the house and swooping round it.  Also, a play on words that someday I'll come down from the clouds back to my senses and do something practical!) 

Currently I work at Pizza Ranch, which is a great place to start!  I really do like working there, so I'm aiming to work my way up to manager.  I just found out that MN is one of five states left that still hold the minimum wage at $7.25 for waitresses PLUS tips!  We could save a lot more money faster if I worked at a full-service restaurant such as Perkins.  So maybe I could get an evening job there.  After working at the front counter at Pizza Ranch for the lunch hour.  Or the Bistro, a super fancy restaurant in the downtown.  At up to $40 a plate, probably the people frequenting there would tip even better for exceptional service!  It would be top-notch of course, because when I decide to do something, I am going to do it WELL!  Coinciding with whatever food service job I may have, I could take a short course and test to become a first responder serving the small town of Tracy (one of the ideas of this week).  With just a little more training (about 3 months) I could be certified as a basic EMT.  I loved the drills on the ship, having responsibility and being prepared for emergencies, (and have dreamed of being a first responder to worldwide disasters) so this would be right up my alley!  Just today we took the class and did some shooting to get our Permit to Carry...  and now I have learned one more thing!  Ever learning, ever onward.  Which reminds me that I would like to be a teacher.  To home school our kids, and if I studied for and took the Pre-Professionals Skills Test (PPST, now called Praxis I, I think?), I could homeschool other people's kids.  My dream would be to run a one-room schoolhouse!  Upon considering that idea more, it might be better to adjust it slightly, to be a sort of on-call person who could invest in helping mothers teach their own children.  I could be knowledgeable about a lot of curriculums, do lots of research, be a great encouragement, write a blog for these moms and tonight I started writing a book to that effect!  Be prepared, long-time home school moms!  Some survey questions might be coming your way soon!  These latest ideas are after we've narrowed down my vision and goals through writing a life mission statement.  Which helped me say "no" to several job offers I've received lately:  Three times I've been asked/told I should be a car salesperson, offered a $30,000/yr + full benefits full-time job with Schwans as a Route Sales Representative Trainee, and the latest, a Mary Kay professional beauty consultant.  This was after wondering about being a photographer and initially getting a job at PictureMe!  I almost forgot the things I'm working on right now, that would be Medical Transcription courses, learning about and implementing interior design for our house, and teaching Sunday school.  Of course, my life dream to be a wife and a mom haven't changed; I figure I'll just do more things along the way!    

Whew!  Did that tire anyone else out?  And these are just some of my ideas from the last, oh, four months or so.  I come up with an average of about three new ideas for my life per week, and a new revelation this week has proved that when I drink coffee (caffeine) it can jump to as many as 3 per DAY!!!  The Energizer bunny on steroids - an understatement.

"Hang on, Benjamin!  We're in for the ride of our life!!!"  You are the most understanding fun man I could ever spend it with! <3

And from today...

      

Fading Memories...

...like the sunset over the sea.  

The other day (Jan. 7) was the first day I missed the ship, like REALLY miss the ship and ship life in it's entirety.  We spent an amazing night at Jacob's (and roommates) apartment in Brookings.  It was just a bunch of us college-age friends, living/eating/talking about God/having fun together, and it felt a little like the community life onboard Logos Hope.  

How much fun it used to be to grab my sleeping bag and walk to the other side of E section to cabin 266 for a "sleepover" in Elise's cabin!  Crazy times with her, Linda, Allie, Maddy and Emily Geffert, their "5th cabinmate" as we called her!  Going off the ship with friends, ministry days, performing in events, work, security watches, sailing, teaching Sunday school and little kid's Storytime, meals in the dining room with 400 people...  You lived with your friends, ate all your meals with friends, worked with friends, ministered with them - it was our home - and we made the people around us be family.  It was an incredible and amazing time, living our life wrapped up in this unique ministry and lifestyle serving God!

Time helps ebb the hard memories and the painful ones like the tide going out to sea, leaving me with balmy sunshine, friends and laughter, and gently rolling waves.

Though at the time, it wasn't all smooth sailing.  From my journal:

August 28, 2010

"Then I went out onto the decks to our spot behind the container with an empty chair beside me and cried. I felt like I couldn't scream or yell loud enough to get the pain out... I think deep inside I miss Ben.  Also so many of my friends are leaving.  And the upcoming changes too... we can't go back.  The time we had together was just a brief breath, and then it was gone."

Christmas Blessing!

So tonight we are going through contacts to send Christmas cards to... 

We ordered 150 cards and realized our list had quickly added up to 160+... 

 We were having to go through and cut some out when we thought to actually count the cards. 

 By some mistake, they shipped us not 150 but 260 cards!!! 

 What a special Christmas blessing! :D

Have you received or realized any unexpected blessings recently?

Our first Christmas tree!

I have a lot to post on.  It's all backing up in my mind; quite a line, really.  But alas!  I haven't much time... because I HAVE A LIFE, people!  And I've been doing a lot of living lately!  So one of these days I will maybe (finally) post about Thanksgiving, a friend coming to visit, thoughts on Traditions, my Christmases the past few years, and other stuff that's been happening!

Until then this (pathetic, sorry - it's from my phone) picture of our first tree will have to do!  It's a real tree and it smells so good!  We picked it out ourselves and brought it all the way home from... Menards!   It is a very cute tree and very picture-perfect-ish! :)

For all those of you reading this who might be going through pre-marital counseling or will be soon, a little word of advice.  Picking out the tree is easy, however, what's not usually covered in the books is choosing lights.  Colorful vs. white.  Discuss and come to an agreement NOW.  It will save you from an eye-opening surprise when standing in the Christmas decoration aisle together...  Haha, it wasn't that bad, but our different preferences and why was certainly entertaining! ;)   

In case you're dying to know, I love my hubby so much - there are WHITE lights on the tree!  

...but I have two boxes of colored ones to decorate a room with! :D

For the other married couples, what have you had to learn to agree or compromise on?

~ Merry-almost-Christmas from snowLESS Minnesota! ~

On the Pizza Ranch blog!

It is really special to be featured on PizzaRanchServes' blog today!  You can read it HERE. :)

P.S.  Don't forget to come visit me at work!  Marshall, MN between Walmart and Menards~

'I belong to no one'

What would it be like to belong to no one?

It's almost christmas - I don't have my grandparent's or parent's home to go to... because I simply don't have family.  None.  Zilch.  I am a family of one.  Except, I don't think 'family' can be singular.  If there's only one it's 'alone'.  Yup, that's me; I don't belong to anyone. 

I don't have a curfew, which many teenagers might envy.  But I just wish there were someone who cares what time I come home... or if I come home at all.  I wish I would have a real home to come back to.  Looking to the future it would be cool to get married someday.  But I need to find another loner like me.  It wouldn't be fair to him that I would get a family out of the deal because I don't have family he'd be joining.  I will never have a Dad to walk me down the aisle. 

I had dreams too, you know.  I imagined being pushed on a swing by a smiling person called Mom.  My 6-year-old joy would have been indescribable!  I wanted to know what it would be like to have a Grandma who baked the best pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving.  Would I help roll out pie crust or would I be outside with Grandpa showing me how to shoot a rifle?  How about as a family to go sledding in the park in the winter?  In my mind's eye I could see us walking across the snow, seeing all the other fathers out with their daughters having the best Saturday of their life, at least it would be of mine!  But it's all in the past tense because it's too late for me to make any of those childhood memories.
Age 17 was my last chance for a normal life.  That was the year I heard someone say, "My plate's full.  I have a full house!  God's given me enough with my own two grown children, one teenager at home yet and grandkids coming over..."  I'm only 5'1 since I was preemie; I don't take up much room.  And no space for me in their mansion of a house?  Did they not read in the Bible the 47 times it says to care for the orphans?     

I waited a long time for a family and they never came.  I don't have a family and I never will.  I'll never get my turn to be someone's kid because I 'aged-out'.... of the System.    

Suzanne L. __________  

Age 18, American Foster Care System   

P.S.  I am Suzanne Lauren __________, with no last name because I belong to no one.

New Blog

So! I have a new blog! Each chapter of my life I feel like starting fresh, so here it is: 

Introducing the blog of... Naomi SAHLSTROM!  Follow my new life as a young wife in [frigid] Minnesota; the story of a city girl, a traveling nomad, adjusting to having a home - and one in the country at that! - along with pictures and insights into random thoughts and issues.  

It's my happy place where I can write, because I like writing! 

I am in the wee stages of setting it up, so don't expect too much just yet! However, I did figure out how to blog by texting from my phone (aka, expect updates more often)!  It's working, cause this is from my phone! :)

Don't forget to read about my life up until this point at

http://www.dockhopper.blogspot.com and

http://www.xanga.com/hk_nut