I'm not gonna lie; I was pretty nervous. The last time changed our plans so much I was afraid for what to expect. I just hoped someone else was hoping for me because I didn't have the strength to hope for good news myself.
The short cervix condition is getting worse and I am on "house a-rest" (I have had to stop working), keeping my activity level extremely low and laying down a lot. Gotta love, just LOVE, these trips to Sioux Falls for doctor appointments... they have a way of changing my LIFE...! :P *total sarcasm*
For other moms out there who are going through this or other high-risk pregnancies,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It might not be the birth plan you envisioned, you know... full-term, home, calm, water birth.
Right now it might look like... sirens, helicopter, Emergency Room, long stay in the NICU.
But you will make it... Baby will make it.
And you'll be stronger for it.
Short term goals, my midwife says. One more day. Think, one more day.
Some days it feels like a battle. The times when you're laying half upside-down to keep baby in. Eating when you're not hungry. Doing things you had never thought you'd do (oh the # of pills I take!). Do you know how helpless you feel, all alone at home having done all you can, laying in the bath trying to will your contractions to stop?
But we're not in this fight alone! Ben takes such amazing care of me!!! The deaconesses and families from our church are making meals for us - HUGE blessing! And there's a whole army of prayer warriors going forward with us through this time. Thank you to each and every one of you who is involved in some way!
God is with me, holding baby in His strong Hands.
I really love listening to uplifting worship music - helps me forget my fears and focus on Jesus. :)
Just listen to the lyrics:
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
This one thing remains...
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever,
have to be afraid...
This one thing, remains...
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
And I, I am so afraid
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
...
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
Perfect for spring! :)
This website has some easy to understand information on my specific condition and is a great encouragement for anyone going through a similar pregnancy:
If you're looking at the charts on the website, my numbers are:
18 weeks 2.4cm
22 weeks (now) 1.8cm
If it keeps progressing at the current rate it will be 1.2cm at 24 weeks
Some specific things you can pray for:
- Baby would STAY IN until full term!!!
- Baby would ride high, gain weight and his lungs would develop sooner than normal (better weight and breathing would help him survive if born early)
- I would not have contractions
- Wisdom and peace of mind as we are having to make hard decisions
- Things would look improved at our next appointment in 2 weeks and it could be a testament to God's healing hand!
Our goals:
At 24 weeks about 25-30% of babies survive with LOTS of help, 28 weeks almost all survive in NICU most without long-term complications, about 36 weeks baby can be strong enough to breath/eat on his own without all the machine help, 37-40 weeks is considered full term!
Thank you for praying!
