"It will feel like... butterflies!" they said. They must have been having girls. Everything is flowers, butterflies and princesses with girls.
I, have a martial arts BOXER inside! Pounding on all sides! I think he wants to come out and meet us, but he is not allowed just yet! ;) When he sits too low, it's like he's playing the bass drum, BOOM, BOOM! Wouldn't it be fun to have a little Nemo fish - with a little fluttery "lucky" fin. But... it's completely not accurate. [Scratch cute description.]
Tonight he's at it again. Very active, he is. It feels like a frog. I can actually SEE the kicks now! Our little martial arts-boxer-bass drummer-frog. Yup, description works. A little fighter for sure! :)
Wednesday, April 24
Thursday, April 18
Does God give us more than we can handle?
It was one of those articles going somewhat viral around the Christian circles on Facebook. That was just the first time I was confronted with the question. Then in the past couple weeks since then I have been bombarded with it:
Does God give you more than you can handle?
On those hardest of days, I agree with a friend (ok, so I am nowhere near where she is at in terms of challenges and hardship - amazing what perspective can do for you! - but still),
"oh He definitely gives me more than i can handle on a regular basis. He overwhelms me daily. i cry all the time. i used to scream up to Him to help me, to provide some relief, to comfort one baby for me while i helped another... He never did. He has brought me to a place where i am alone and isolated, where i usually have only me to rely on. i am constantly exhausted - i can only ever go to bed after midnight, i have a baby who stays up and then wakes often in the night, often 10 times. so i am always tired. He gave me a wonderful husband through all this, but it's still too hard most of the time. ... i have been suicidal, i have been drunk with joy, i have been terrified, i have been hopeless and i have been blessed enormously. sometimes my very blessedness makes me feel guilty for feeling so overwhelmed."
...and I emphatically say, YES!!!!!! Too much, it's too much Lord!
Interesting, that most people going through a difficult situation tend to feel that it is indeed too much for them to bear. On good days though, farther from heartache and trouble (temporarily), we think we can handle it. Maybe we even get a little cocky and think that we really can do it in our own strength. So ask someone who's life is going along well and the answer is more likely to be, "No, I don't think God gives us more than we can handle." *thinking isn't that somewhere in the Bible?*
Now that I have said how I feel, let me back up this argument with some actual Biblical evidence. This particular statement, that “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” isn’t even in the Bible. There is a statement that sounds like it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” But notice that verse is about temptation. That’s it. You won’t be tempted beyond what you can stand up against. This text is not saying that you will not experience more than you can bear. That idea just isn’t Biblical. If anything the exact opposite is true. Look at this text.You can read the full article here. [Note: I found this article to be insightful and Biblically accurate but I have not done enough reading to necessarily endorse other content on his blog.]
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers and sisters, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." (2 Cor 1:8,9, emphasis mine).
Later, Paul will write it is when he is weak that the strength of Christ is seen. In other words, when we can’t do it any longer. When we are fed up. When it has become too much. When we have nothing left. When we are empty. When it is beyond our capability to deal with it. Then, in that moment, the strength of the God of resurrection will be seen. Until we get to that point, we rely on ourselves thinking we can handle it and take care of the problem.
I think of Job, Joseph, the martyrs of the early church, Mary, a lonely unwed mother, even David who walked through the valley of the shadow of death. That sounds pretty bad to me.
Another one of my friends made an interesting point:
"As I'm thinking about Job, and how it seemed to be more than he could handle, I am also thinking that what happened was beyond Job's control. So I think when something happens outside of our control, that seems like too much for us to handle. It could be God's way of allowing us to trust in him more and rely on him, as well as it is maybe not God giving us more, but "allowing" more to happen."
She also had what I think is a very good and culturally applicable thought and I have to say I agree.
"Sometimes, we become addicted to busyness, and have a hard time saying no. So I think sometimes we inflict upon ourselves too much for us to handle. Whether it be because we want more money so we want a second job, whether it be we want people to like us, whether it be we want to feel loved so we have to go to everything our friends invite us to, or whether it be for other reasons, we sometimes choose these things we don't have to, and are putting ourselves into a situation where it is more than we can handle. So sometimes, even if we think something is more than we can handle, we shouldn't always blame God for letting it happen, we should also look to see if we are partially responsible." I couldn't have said it better.
"But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ... for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor.12:9-10)
A comforting thought from another friend, "I have always been so glad that God doesn't measure out His grace at the beginning of the day, or week, or month and then say, "Too bad, you've run out, you'll have to wait now for a new supply." His goodness is moment-by-moment and, in my life so MANY times, minute-to-minute. You are grace-full all the time because you are full of HIM."
Why does God give us, or allow us to experience, more than we can handle? So that we come to Him. So that we need Him. Rely on Him. So that we live our lives in His strength. We can do so much more. We can be who He really wants us to be through the refining process of having more than we can bear. We can learn humility and compassion. And we can grow.
Nope, hard times are not fun. We are usually not running around rejoicing while being crushed by a huge burden. Thankfulness is not our instinctive reaction. But the difficult season you're going through may be God's invitation for you to come to Him, receive Him, and experience His Peace that passes all understanding.
The mom that I quoted from the beginning of this post sums it up beautifully:
"i believe that God walks with us and holds us in the raging waters - He doesn't promise to help us avoid them altogether. how would we ever learn and grow and get strong if He only gave us what we can handle? how would we see our desperate need for Him?"
Tuesday, April 9
Pregnancy Update
I'm not gonna lie; I was pretty nervous. The last time changed our plans so much I was afraid for what to expect. I just hoped someone else was hoping for me because I didn't have the strength to hope for good news myself.
The short cervix condition is getting worse and I am on "house a-rest" (I have had to stop working), keeping my activity level extremely low and laying down a lot. Gotta love, just LOVE, these trips to Sioux Falls for doctor appointments... they have a way of changing my LIFE...! :P *total sarcasm*
For other moms out there who are going through this or other high-risk pregnancies,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It might not be the birth plan you envisioned, you know... full-term, home, calm, water birth.
Right now it might look like... sirens, helicopter, Emergency Room, long stay in the NICU.
But you will make it... Baby will make it.
And you'll be stronger for it.
Short term goals, my midwife says. One more day. Think, one more day.
Some days it feels like a battle. The times when you're laying half upside-down to keep baby in. Eating when you're not hungry. Doing things you had never thought you'd do (oh the # of pills I take!). Do you know how helpless you feel, all alone at home having done all you can, laying in the bath trying to will your contractions to stop?
But we're not in this fight alone! Ben takes such amazing care of me!!! The deaconesses and families from our church are making meals for us - HUGE blessing! And there's a whole army of prayer warriors going forward with us through this time. Thank you to each and every one of you who is involved in some way!
God is with me, holding baby in His strong Hands.
I really love listening to uplifting worship music - helps me forget my fears and focus on Jesus. :)
Just listen to the lyrics:
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
This one thing remains...
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever,
have to be afraid...
This one thing, remains...
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
And I, I am so afraid
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
...
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
Perfect for spring! :)
This website has some easy to understand information on my specific condition and is a great encouragement for anyone going through a similar pregnancy:
If you're looking at the charts on the website, my numbers are:
18 weeks 2.4cm
22 weeks (now) 1.8cm
If it keeps progressing at the current rate it will be 1.2cm at 24 weeks
Some specific things you can pray for:
- Baby would STAY IN until full term!!!
- Baby would ride high, gain weight and his lungs would develop sooner than normal (better weight and breathing would help him survive if born early)
- I would not have contractions
- Wisdom and peace of mind as we are having to make hard decisions
- Things would look improved at our next appointment in 2 weeks and it could be a testament to God's healing hand!
Our goals:
At 24 weeks about 25-30% of babies survive with LOTS of help, 28 weeks almost all survive in NICU most without long-term complications, about 36 weeks baby can be strong enough to breath/eat on his own without all the machine help, 37-40 weeks is considered full term!
Thank you for praying!
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